5 Narcissistic Abuse Hacks – A Cheat Sheet for Decoding the Top Narcissistic Manipulations

“Narcissists agree to counseling for a few different reasons, none of them related to making your relationship better. What typically happens in a “therapeutic setting” is that the Narcissist uses it as a stage to make themselves look like the victim, further invalidating their abused partner.” ~ Let Me Reach, Kim Saeed

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

How many times have you engaged in frustrating arguments with your toxic partner, only to come to self-defeating “compromises” in which they made you feel utterly responsible for their relationship crimes (and possibly had you apologizing for their errors)?

Have you forgiven your narcissistic partner a ridiculous number of times for lying, cheating, watching porn, and frequent disappearing acts, yet came away with mind-bending “resolutions” that you’d be mortified to share with your closest friend?

How often have you settled into a false sense of security after the narcissist apologized or hoovered you, only to get punched in the gut when you discovered they were still cheating, and in fact, never stopped?

If this sounds like your life, following are some Narc-manipulation hacks that you can use starting today:

Cheap shots and Blame-shifting

Narcissists are so good at getting away with blame-shifting because their targets actually spend time reflecting on how…

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Can My Love Change the Narcissist?

“Narcissists are very good a playing the victim. Haven’t you noticed that when you try to describe your pain and confusion, he turns on the pity-party persona and insists he’s the one who’s suffering?” ~ Kim Saeed at Let Me Reach

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

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When you first met the Narcissist, he mournfully depicted woeful tales of his being cheated on, taken advantage of, and having suffered a dreadful childhood.  His parents neglected him and let him down, as have all the women in his life – as evidenced by his “crazy Ex” who kept blowing up his phone as the two of you dined by candlelight.

It felt so real, and all you wanted to do was show him that there is a true and comforting love available for him. Your love…and so you set out on a mission to prove to him that you could love him past all of his wounds and vulnerability.  In the process, you overlooked his transgressions, his verbal abuse, his irresponsibility, and his utter lack of social etiquette.

He just needs me to help him, you perpetually tell yourself.  You shoulder the responsibility when he says you…

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Breaking Up with a Narcissist

“If you truly want to break up with the Narcissist in your life, the best approach is to do it in stealth mode. ” ~ Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Breaking Up

“Breaking up with a Narcissist”.  These are common search terms that lead people to Let Me Reach.  While I am glad that readers are searching for ways to end their toxic relationships, I usually feel a little anxious for them because I know that “breaking up with a narcissist” is no easy feat.

Generally, when partners of a Narcissist start searching for ways to end the relationship, they often believe that doing so will offer them quick liberation from the agony they’re experiencing.  After all, when we feel depressed or anxious, we simply make an appointment with a therapist and he or she will likely prescribe pills to deal with difficult emotions.  We can schedule a massage and experience fast relief from pent-up stress.  Finding information that we want is as simple as entering search terms into our web browser.  Because we live in times where instant gratification is so…

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Hamster Wheel Conversations with the Narcissist

“If you continue to maintain contact with them, they will continue to manipulate and exploit you because that’s what their nature is, in spite of how “wonderful” they were in the beginning. That was a stage play they performed just for you.” ~ Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Hamster Wheel

One of the most important aspects of maintaining No Contact and going on to recover is being able to see your narcissistic partner for who (and what) they truly are.  They can seem so genuine sometimes, and we make the mistake of assuming that they must have some understandable reason to be hurtful.  We find it too hard to accept the idea that some people are cunning, devious and ruthless…and that our partner is one of them.  After all, we shared our very selves with them. We trusted them.  We loved them.

Allow me to offer you some critical information that may help you in leaving your pathological relationship and maintaining No Contact.  A common struggle among people who reach out to me for coaching is getting stuck in a crazy cycle of trying to “make” their partner understand the pain they’ve caused them.  They try to “make them” understand how they…

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The Man Behind The Mask

A sad, but inspiring poem by Robin.

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

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by ~ Robin

I remember that night
When he first caught my eye
He had a penetrating gaze…
Never looked away as he walked by.

He made me feel special
Said all the things I longed to hear
At the time I was so lonely
And he always kept me near.

After a while
He stopped answering his phone
I never knew the reason
Why I was suddenly alone.

He was in a bad mood he’d say
And didn’t want me to suffer
I guess I’d miss the red flags
Because they smelled like flowers.

He asked me to marry him
The ring was flashy and impressive
I thought he must really love me
To go through that much effort.

Six months passed
And he was drifting away
It was me, he said
I’d gained too much weight.

He was leaving me for her
And showed no remorse, not a…

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