(Thankfully, New York wasn’t as bad as this when we arrived).
As predicted, going to New York with no money and nothing already set up was a nightmare. Anyone with common sense would have known that, but not *Steve (see “Heavily Pregnant, Hungry And Homeless“). The journey which started on November 3rd 2012 was awful. I was extremely uncomfortable and in pain, yet in the middle of the night, I had to take over and drive because he was cursing me for being lazy. I was afraid; tired and heavily pregnant, not to mention in pain, I did not think it was a good idea to take the steering wheel. It was pitch back and I’d only recently gotten my driver’s licence. But, for some peace, I did. He fell asleep and left me to deal with getting us there. When I did wake him up to help me out as we were using his the SatNav from his cell/mobile which was a bit off, he cursed me and asked why was it OK for me to sleep for a long time, but it wasn’t OK for him. Asking him what he considered a long time, he responded thirty minutes. Wow. He’d been sleeping for about an hour when I wasn’t sure which way I should turn…
Steve had taken over the wheel by the time we had arrived in New York. What little cash we had was spent on road tolls, for which we did not anticipate. I had to take over the driving once again, as I was used to driving around in busy London and he couldn’t cope with the sheer amount of vehicles. But we had an even bigger problem. Hurricane Sandy had hit where we were going on October 22nd. I had no idea what we were going to do. We’d both been in touch with the Veterans Affairs Supportive Housing (HUD-VASH) program, which combines Housing Choice Voucher (HCV) rental assistance for homeless veterans, prior to leaving Georgia, although I was unable to get any information myself as I wasn’t the “veteran”. When asked what our options were, he told me he had been advised to just turn up in New York and was given an address we needed to go to upon arrival. Well, surprise, surprise, the venue didn’t exist (I’m still convinced he made it up to this day) and we almost got a ticket on the car as there was nowhere to park. We went round and round in circles. By the end of it, we’d only spent a few hours there and left. Our plans were shot to hell. What on earth were we going to do now? No money, no roof, no food for me, three kittens in the car, baby coming real soon… I had to ask “Why God?”.
(The devastation left by hurricane Sandy in some parts of New York).
Another brain wave from Steve emerged. His friend *Peter lived in up state New York. He would give him a call and ask if we could go stay with him. He had a three or four bedroom house he was paying the mortgage for and lived on his own. It would solve our problems. We headed to West Virginia, careful to avoid any more toll payments as we were out of cash and they didn’t accept card payments. That’s were we stayed for the night. Although we had to sneak them into the room, the kittens were able to roam about rather than be stuck in a crate in the car. I was able to have a shower and sleep in a bed. I needed it. Especially to prepare me for what was going to happen the next morning.
To cut a very long story short, we argued about everything – mainly money. We shouldn’t have been in such a situation, especially as I had made provisions to ensure we weren’t. Steve was always hungry and had a big appetite. I was hungry, but wasn’t allowed to eat, so when I did, it was very little as it was what I had become accustomed to. We had to be out of the hotel room by 11:00 am. He packed up all his things, along with the kittens and out then in the car at around 10:00 am.
Steve drove off…
I was thinking, fine let him go so he can cool off for the long drive we faced. I started to pack up what was left in the room. 10:15 am. He hadn’t come back. 10:30 am. He still wasn’t back. 10:45 am I was panicking as we only has 15 minutes left to get out of the room. We had paid for that one night with all the money we had left in the bank account. I dragged everything outside into the cold and handed back the keys 11:00 am sharp. I sat in the cold with broken and ripped shoes, I had no coat, no gloves, no hat – I had nothing to keep me warm. I started to cry. I was so worried for my unborn baby. Calling him numerous times before he decided to answer, he reply he was on his way to his friend’s house and that I had to find a way to get myself out of the mess I was in. I couldn’t believe it. He swore he wasn’t coming back for me.
My cell/mobile battery was dead. Luckily, there was a drinks machine that was plugged into a double socket, so I was able to charge my phone outside. I continued to call. Same response when he did bother answering. At one point, he said he wanted me to beg and fight for him. I did just that, but he still said he wasn’t coming back for me. A gentleman passed me and said “Good morning”. The same gentleman passed me again approximately two hours later, only this time he stopped. He said “When I left to got to church this morning, you were here. I’ve now returned and you are still here in the cold”. I didn’t know what to say. I was embarrassed to tell him the truth about my Steve, so I told him my husband had gone on a job interview, it’s taking longer than we expected, but he will be back soon. The gentleman told me his name (I’ve forgotten it) and his room number and told me to come by should I need anything. A lady driving up asked me what was going on. The lady in reception asked the same. It took all my strength not to cry and not to tell what really happened.
The next thing I knew, after quite some time, Steve called and told me he was on his way, but only because he had spoken to his mother who had told him to come back for me. He also proceeded to tell me how his mother said our relationship was toxic and that I should be more sympathetic to him, as well as that I should put more of an effort into our relationship. I was so angry. What did his mother know? I told him I was going to call her and give her a piece of my mind; no one was going to accuse me of not making an effort. I had given her crazy son my all. Besides, it was because of me why they were talking again. Of course he told me not to because she would deny it and it would cause problems. On hindsight, I believe it’s because he didn’t want her to tell me what she really said. Anyway, I didn’t call her and left it at that.
I was sat in the cold for three and a half hours before Steve returned for me. He then tried to dump me off at the nearest airport with no means of paying for a ticket to get back to the UK. I had no choice by this point. The thought of being left in the cold again (I hadn’t quite thawed out yet from my experience), did not appeal to me. I told him “For better, for worse” I would stay with him. He started to cry, telling me how I deserve better and that I was too good for him.
I thought “You’re damn right you f**ker. And when I get the chance to leave you, I will”.
We continued our journey.
(*Not their real names)
Blog of a Mad Black Woman 