Surgery Complete

Thankfully, it went well yesterday.

Now the anaesthesia has worn off, I am experiencing some pain, but I am trying to grit my teeth and get on with it. The surgeon was not impressed with me that I had not arranged for someone to collect Max from preschool, but instead, was going to pick him up myself. I am supposed to take it easy as it will take approximately two to four weeks to heal. Thing is, I had not seen my son since 6.40 am that morning, and was missing him real bad. I told the surgeon that I was up and about just one day after I had a caesarean, so I will be fine. Besides, what he does not know, is that my ex-husband smacked me about just a few days after – so much so, I thought the stitches from the caesarean had burst. If I can survive that level of excruciating pain, I can survive this. I do understand and appreciate his concerns though.

With swollen knees, these are the fabulously fashionable (not!) socks I have to wear for two to four weeks to prevent deep vein thrombosis (DVT). Unfortunately, none of my clothing covers this amount of ugly!

Anyway, I hope everyone is OK.

Love P. x

What it’s Like Being a Survivor

This is not always the case, but it is definitely how I feel sometimes.

Once a Survivor Learns to Value Themselves

Survivor Psalm

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Where I am Today

(Top, skirt & belt – Pin Up Girl Clothing / Cherry accessories – Bows & Crossbones)

Today, I had an appointment at a school I possibly would like Max to attend. I also had to drop him off at Pre-School, and stop off to get some groceries.

Normally I wear jeans. Not today. It has taken two years to be able to start purchasing clothes for myself, and six months to build up my wardrobe to what it is today.

This is the first picture that I have been semi confident in taking since 2012.

I am not vain, but after leaving my abusive ex husband, with my then twelve week old son, I had nothing. My son had nothing. Rest assured, my son is looked after first and foremost, but I am proud of the little steps I have taken, and the small victories I have achieved. Even though at the time they didn’t seem worth it, looking back, I can finally see that they were.

I would like to thank you all for reading my random ramblings, and for helping to guide me through one of the most traumatic periods of my life. My Healing Journey is not yet over, but I get closer to my goal every day, (even though sometimes I do lapse, I am only human after all).

For those of you who are still in abusive relationships – with or without children – I am living proof it is possible to get out. It is possible to get away. It was tough for me, as I had nothing but my new born son. My friends and family were in the UK whilst I was in the US. I was isolated, beaten during and after my pregnancy, starved, tied up and bitten. I endured suffocation, strangulation, and suffered from a dislocated knee which caused me to limp in excruciating pain for almost a year, and then some. (I do not like to talk about the ‘r’ word, so you can read about it here).

I will never forget my experiences, but I have moved on. My son is a healthy, feisty little cutie, and everyday I thank God for him. I walked away from the abusive relationship damaged, ground down until I was left feeling like I was shit on the bottom of someone’s shoe. But through looking at my son, and sheer determination to make him have a normal life, I survived what felt like the impossible.

Much love to you all. ❤

Sending extra love to those who are unfortunately, still suffering. May you find the courage to leave very soon. xoxo

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