Financial Abuse

At first, I was just going to let my blog just “run” with real life events, but then it started to get me down, and was advised to mix things up a little. Taking the advice, I created pages to break it down into different categories, making it easier to find specific posts. They are as follows:

About – A brief explanation about me.

Amy T – A “Thank You” page dedicated to Amy Thomson/sweetmarie9616

Elaine L – A “Thank You” page dedicated to Elaine L.

Go Fund Me – A page dedicated to raising funds for my son and I, so we can have a roof over ours heads for the next couple of months. This page is really important to me, and I would be so grateful if you could share the link to help raise funds for this worthy cause. Even if not for me, then for my toddler son. There is an in-depth explanation available on:

http://www.gofundme.com/Abuse-Survivor–Toddler

Just Saying – Daily posts that can sometimes be sarcastic, funny, or just straight to the point!

My Awards – Awards I’ve been nominated for from other WP bloggers.

Positive Quotes – Daily posts in the morning to help to start people’s day right.

Quick Note – To let bloggers know, that it may take me a little while to catch up with reading their posts, but I will get there!

Random – Posts about random things.

Real Events – True events which have happened to me, explaining what my son and I have been through, and still continue to go through. From Domestic Abuse to the murders of my kittens.

Reblogs – Self explanatory.

Songs – Songs which I used to like, somewhat like, or still like. Sometimes with a note of what a particular song meant to me then, and what it means to me now after my traumatic experience.

The reason I’ve decided to do this post, is because some of my followers have said that they are unaware of the pages until I mention it to them. It is not, by any means, because I think none of you aren’t able to figure this out by yourselves!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day. ❤

It was very clear that *Steve did not like spending his own money. He would place anyone in a situation where they, like myself, would end up paying for what he wanted. (See “Our First And Second Shopping Trip To The Mall Together“). There was always the promise that he would pay me back, or if we went out for a meal, say that the next time, he’d pay. There were also times where I would purchase an item for myself, and he would want me to tell people that he had purchased it for me…

By the time I was ready to move to the US, I found messages between him and another woman. The messages were dated back to just when we had started dating, during the ‘Honeymoon’ period, so to speak. She already had a boyfriend she did not wish to leave, but Steve was trying to get her to do just that – leave him. Whilst I was spending money he promised to pay back but he didn’t, for the number of visits I made to go see him, he was cursing me to her, saying I’m high maintenance, I’m moody, I think I’m above everyone, etc. He then went on to offer this woman, who lived in the US, a ticket that he would purchase, for her to go see him in Germany. She refused. Of course it’s easy to guess that he thought me looking through his deceitful messages (as I supposedly ‘hacked’ into his account), was far worse than his own behaviour. His explanation to me was at the time, he didn’t think we would last, nor did he think he was going to fall so deeply in love me me.

I purchased a bag out of my own money within a couple of months of moving out to the US. Just because he said he liked it, he told me to tell people he bought it for me as a gift. Obviously trying to keep up the pretence – something I certainly said no to. I can only imagine how much it annoyed him that I refused.

Out of $6,500 I had transferred over when I arrived in the US, there was only $80.00 left. I wanted it in case I needed anything (I was pregnant as the time), but he wouldn’t allow me to get it out of the bank before he spent it, because it was all money we had. This is related to the incident where I was left to walk along the highway at night, in my second trimester (see “Emotional And Mental Abuse“). Yet, when I needed to go to the hospital, or needed food, it was his money (see “It Was His Money Not Mine“).

The money to pay for mine and my son’s flight was from him claiming for our son on his tax return. Had it not been for this money coming in, I would still be stuck with the wife beating loser. Yet, he told me to tell people that it was a birthday gift from him to me last year (2013). Steve’s portion was eaten up by Montana Child Support as he was and still is in arrears with his daughter.

He is in Child Support arrears with Max. Despite everything he had put me through, I had told him that he could contribute whatever he could afford, or if he was short one month, to just let me know in advance and he wouldn’t have to worry about making a payment. Luckily, I had already started a Child Support case when I had gone to the US to try to retrieve some of my belongings the end of May last year (2013), unknown to him. (I will go into detail about this in a later post). It was agreed that he would start contributing on July 1st… Yeah, no… it didn’t happen. I waited until July 3rd to ask him what was going on. I laughed when I got his message. Conveniently, he had his wallet stolen and someone tried to break into his car. Yet, what he had actually done, was moved out of the Extended Stay into an apartment, bought new clothes, eating out up to three times a day. He was living, whilst my family and friends were feeding and clothing our son.

Steve owes me $32,000. At the same time Child Support was discussed, I reduced this amount to $15,000 as he is the father of my child. Again, he could pay back what he could afford. Another reason I reduced it, was because he had the cheek to say I owe him rent as I moved out there to be with him! Being married to me, meant the army was paying him $1,200 for Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) in Savannah GA, for him to live off post and for us to live together. If not married, he would not have received this money.So, to avoid any bullshit, I more than halved the amount. On July 25th, I noticed he still had not attempted to make payment, so I sent him a message asking him about it. His response was that he will no longer be taken advantage of, so he will not be paying me back what he owes me. I wanted to put some of this money into a savings account for Max, to go towards his education when he’s older. I guess, it’s not going to happen…

When I returned to the UK last year March, I struggled for as long as I could with no money and no job. I’d paid taxes for nineteen years here, so was entitled to Child Benefit, which is roughly $30.00/£20.30 per week. I told Steve this. He was happy and said “That’s good”. He expected our son and I to live on this, whilst he was living on benefits and Basic Allowance for Housing (B.A.H.) totalling to approximately $667.00/£476.00 per week. His rent at the Extended Stay was $209.00 per week – this price included electric, water, landline, cable, internet and a cleaner once a week, which left him with $458.00 to spend as he pleased. Yet he offered no suggestion on helping me with our son financially, or otherwise for that matter.

He wanted to come to the UK after leaving the army, so he could claim benefits and not pay for medical. As he said to me, he liked the idea. That would mean I would have to do the following:- Work full time and look after Max. Pay for gas, electricity, TV Licence, council tax; water, rent, phone, broadband, not to mention food, clothes and whatever else was needed. I told him he’d get bored, but he denied this, saying he would fill his time sightseeing. (See “He Wanted Me To Work Whilst He Stayed At Home“). I went to the US to have a life with him and to work, not to chill, try to claim benefits and not do anything with my life. Did he really think I was stupid enough to bring him to my country to sponge off of a system he’d never paid into? I don’t think so.

Money comes and goes, but the thing that bothers me the most about it all, is that he does not make any contributions to his son nor his daughter. Yet, he has the audacity to say his children have his heart. He has sacrificed relationships with both so he can have a life of leisure, whilst he has no care for how they exist. Steve is indeed a narcissist. This is what they do… They only care about themselves.

(*Not his real name)