What is Verbal Abuse

Why Going To Therapy With The Narcissist Is A Bad Idea

I tried this with my (ex) husband, but he decided he no longer wanted to go, which meant I was not allowed to go either.

“The sad truth is that in my experience working with clients who have been narcissistically abused, as well as the hours upon hours of research I’ve done, I’ve not come across one success story as it relates to couple’s therapy with a narcissist.” ~ Let Me Reach With Kim Saeed

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

So you’ve been thinking about going to couple’s counseling with your abusive partner.

After all, you’ve apparently committed some serious grievances against them. According to him or her, it’s a wonder you’re not on the FBI’s Most Wanted List. You think back to the times you snapped as you pick up the phone and dial your insurance company to find marriage counselors in your area. You have been feeling high-strung and confused lately …and it seems you’ve been forgetting some things you said to your partner, including how you wished harm upon their past lovers, family, and their cousin, twice removed from their third step-father’s side.

Before you start going down the list of marriage or relationship counselors, it’s important to consider that going to therapy with a Narcissist will accomplish three things: 1) waste time and money, 2) keep you in a relationship that is doomed to fail anyway and…

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Verbal Abuse

“The use of words to punish is a very covert attempt to control and regardless of how loving your spouse may appear to be, verbal abuse is wrong and can be just has harmful as physical abuse.” ~ about.com

Here are some of my own experiences: Verbal Abuse.

My Pages

At first, I was just going to let my blog just “run” with real life events, but then it started to get me down, and was advised to mix things up a little. Taking the advice, I created pages to break it down into different categories, making it easier to find specific posts. They are as follows:

• About – A brief explanation about me.

• Amy T – A “Thank You” page dedicated to Amy Thomson/sweetmarie9616

• Elaine L – A “Thank You” page dedicated to Elaine L.

• Go Fund Me – A page dedicated to raising funds for my son and I, so we can have a roof over ours heads for the next couple of months. This page is really important to me, and I would be so grateful if you could share the link to help raise funds for this worthy cause. Even if not for me, then for my toddler son. There is an in-depth explanation available on:

http://www.gofundme.com/Abuse-Survivor–Toddler

• Just Saying – Daily posts that can sometimes be sarcastic, funny, or just straight to the point!

• My Awards – Awards I’ve been nominated for from other WP bloggers.

• Positive Quotes – Daily posts in the morning to help to start people’s day right.

• Quick Note – To let bloggers know, that it may take me a little while to catch up with reading their posts, but I will get there!

• Random – Posts about random things.

• Real Events – True events which have happened to me, explaining what my son and I have been through, and still continue to go through. From Domestic Abuse to the murders of my kittens.

• Reblogs – Self explanatory.

• Songs – Songs which I used to like, somewhat like, or still like. Sometimes with a note of what a particular song meant to me then, and what it means to me now after my traumatic experience.

The reason I’ve decided to do this post, is because some of my followers have said that they are unaware of the pages until I mention it to them. It is not, by any means, because I think none of you aren’t able to figure this out by yourselves!

Hope  everyone is having a wonderful day. ❤

Verbal Abuse

The barrage of verbal abuse was unbearable. Slowly, but surely, it became the every day norm. Sometimes I’d say something back; other times, I was just too exhausted and weak to bother. Here are a number of things thrown at me by *Steve:

• After yet another argument, he was real mad. Acting all butt hurt, it had gotten to the point where I really didn’t care any more – I was just fed up with his behaviour. As he wouldn’t let me go out for a walk, I’d answer back, which he hated. He’d call me all sorts and swear at me non stop – c**t, f**king bitch, moody, frigid (no, I’m not frigid, I just didn’t want you to touch me you jackass), etc. On this particular occasion, I told him I wasn’t scared of him. Growling and coming towards me, looking like he was possessed by demon, he said “You ought to be”.

• He would yell at me because we didn’t have enough money coming in, due to him spending like there was no tomorrow. Right after having our son, he thought it was my duty to look for a job so I could work straight away. Bearing in mind, he wasn’t working and his intention was to claim unemployment for at least two years and to claim for a disability he doesn’t have, for the rest of his life (see “He Claims To Be Suffering From PTSD To Claim Disability“)… When I suggested he slow down on his spending, he would hurl abuse at me saying  “Here’s an idea, get a job” and “What are you doing with your life? Nothing”. It was heartbreaking because there wasn’t much I could do with a new born, and I’d been working, had a car, etc when I met him. I was apparently “useless” because I didn’t have any of these things now.

• He’d get really mad at me when I wanted to ask my mother for advice (hence the reason he smashed my laptop and phone). I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone our business – what happened between us, stayed between us. At the same time, he’d be speaking untruths to anyone who’d listen. According to him, I was needy and pathetic, and that he wanted a lady but all he got was a pain in the ass.

• He’d call me ugly (see “Abusing Me Whilst Pregnant, He Started To Call Me Ugly“). It was so hurtful. Having run me down into the ground, the next step for him was to really crush me. So much so, I started to believe it.

• Another ‘growling’ session was when he was so angry about something (as usual) and I couldn’t understand why. Telling him so, his reply was “This isn’t angry, you’ll know when I’m angry!” He continued by saying he hated me with all of his being, expressing how much he wish he’d never met me. (Yeah, you and me both…). In public, he’d say I was the best thing that ever happened to him and act like we were the perfect couple. Steve loved to give the impression that he was the loving man he clearly was not behind closed doors.

• He’d threaten that he would take Max and leave because I was a bad mother. To this day, I’m not quite sure what he meant by that, but I did start to question my mothering skills. Again, in public, he’d openly say I was a great mother as well as being the love of his life.

I couldn’t do anything right in his view, but if I said he needed to clear up after himself because I was tired, he’d hurl abuse at me, asking what had I done all day.As long as I didn’t say anything, he felt he was in control. However, he did contradict himself. The times when I did remain quiet, he would shout obscenities at me because he didn’t like the silence. Either way, I’d never be right.

(Verbal Abuse Ads – Creative Director: Andy Greenway & Richard Copping. Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi).

(*Not his real name)