(Top and bottom left – Steve and I. Top and bottom right – Steve and Britney)
Just from this image alone, you can see *Steve has the same pattern with whomever he is with. For those who cannot see the conversations clearly, I will start with the conversation between he and I:
“I was pooping when I made it”
“Wtf man?
“It was like deer poop”
“Ugh. Piss off. You Nasty”
“You love me”
Now for the conversation between Steve and Britney:
“Poop went down, but the bloody paper won’t. (Sorry for the visual image but you asked”
“Lol, you just made my day”
“By telling you that I clogged our toilet with my bloody poop and paper? You are easily amused, sir.”
“Indeed I am ma’am, don’t judge me”
“Never.”
There have also been a number of things for which we argued about, but he has done the complete opposite with Britney. And I know why. To try to cover his tracks because he knows I’ve been talking about how badly he has treated me. He wants people to think/say that I’m the crazy one, and that he has never treated Britney this way. This is where the post I reblogged “Will My Ex-Narcissist Treat His New Girlfriend Better?” comes in. The result will be the same, no matter how long it takes. All he’s done, is come in at a different angle.
- A friend of mine was pregnant at the same time as me. I remember seeing a post of hers on Facebook, saying how she could not bend to reach her toe nails because of her baby bump, so her husband cut and painted her nails for her. I showed Steve and told him I though it was really sweet of her husband to do so. His response was that it was “gay”, and that he was not going to do it for me, even though I was pregnant with our child, and I was in pain. I had to struggle to do it myself. However, within days of dating Britney, she posted a picture with a caption stating that her boyfriend was painting her toes.
- I remember saying to Steve once we had returned from our disastrous trip to New York, and we were back in Georgia, that my hands and nails looked awful. He snapped at me saying “Why are you talking about them?“. I was apparently, not allowed to mention them. He took her to get her nails done though.
(“Got my nails did. 🙂 thanks, baby! @steve…”)
- For the the last trimester of my pregnancy, I was wearing broken shoes – the same broken shoes I wore for a month after having my son. Steve refused to get me footwear because he was too busy getting his cigar/cigarette and junk food fix. I even had to use the shoes as slippers in the hospital for the birth of my son. Ten days into their relationship, this was posted, during the time Steve refused to help financially or otherwise with our son:
(Not my style of footwear, but Britney wrote “My baby got me some new shoes”.)
- Due an IRS check from 2008-2009, after blatantly stating neither of his children will receive any money from it, he allowed Britney to use some of it for her own purposes.
- Left the joint bank accounts negative, and told her he has no money because I closed the bank accounts to get her to pay his way. Just like he got her to pay his rent, by telling her that he had paid for Max and I to stay in a hotel when I returned to the US in May 2013 to collect some of my things. It was actually a friend of mine who had put me up in her house, otherwise I would have had to sleep on the streets, as he had lied. He never made the booking. Luckily, I followed my instincts and left my son with my mother in the UK. So even when it comes to his own child, he simply didn’t care.
- I like to do to Church. Not every week, but I do like to go, especially when I feel like I need a ‘lift’. Church of England which I guess, is a combination of Catholicism and Christianity. However, there were none I could find in Savannah nor Marietta, but I did find Catholic church in both places. I was not allowed to go. And there was nothing I could do, because I got my US driver’s licence just before leaving Savannah, therefore wasn’t able to drive prior. Once we got to Marietta, he wouldn’t allow me to drive the car, even though I paid for it and he would act like it belonged to both of us. In October last year, he went to Church with Britney.
- Steve took her out to eating establishments and other places I wanted go to, using our joint accounts to pay for them, knowing I was able to see every single transaction. Knowing our son needed food, clothes, diapers/nappies.
- I managed to find a few things of mine when I went to collect them with the police in May 2013. Of course, there were a few things I couldn’t find because the room they were in was a pig sty, and the things in storage were strewn about the place. There was no order of any sort. I couldn’t find my graduation books, certificate, picture and other pictures, so after explaining this to him, I asked him to send them to my P.O. Box. and gave him the address. His response was that Britney had thrown them away and that he had nothing to do with it.
- This couple shows their level of irresponsibility by going to the movies, eating out, buying clothes, etc all the time, whilst he has no idea how his children eat, are clothed, get medication. Same with Britney. Her daughter is not with her.
- All engagement rings have had the same theme. Three stones, cheap and tacky. Britney and Steve got engaged so she would be distracted to pay his bills, just six weeks after they started dating (seven weeks after they met). He is still legally married to me.
(Above: my so called engagement ring he got for me after he proposed just four weeks into our relationship. Below: Britney’s engagement ring after he proposed to her six weeks into their relationship).
- Clothes of his I used to wear around the home, army sweaters, pyjama pants/bottoms, she is now wearing the same ones. Only she is boasting that “it’s cold, so she’s wearing his army sweater” for example, then feeding his ego by stating how he served six years in the army and was honorably discharged. I suggest she read this post. Because that is one thing I refused to do, feed that twisted individual. He is going to suck off of her for a very long time…
- She loves to say “My soldier and I”. Well, he isn’t and pretty much, never was. He was being chaptered from I met him in Germany in 2010, and he never told me until July 2012, after I had moved to the US. When he was transferred to HAAF, Savannah, his chapter re-started in November 2011, yet he sat down with me in December 2011 and told me deceitfully he would re-enlist for another three years as back up, if I were to get pregnant before getting a job. I refused to call him a soldier as I know and still know the truth.
- He called me at 02:30 am, waking me up, trying to make me jealous by asking me to pray for Britney because she was unwell, not to mention telling me that I should fight for him. I think not!
- Tried to make out she was suffering from cancer, hence the reason she has a shaved head, because I told him he had always cursed women with shaved heads, because they look like “dudes”. Said to his colleagues he was glad I wore my own hair, as he hated weaves and extensions too. He also preferred long hair.
- Jointly disliked people – I mean, what the fuck? She can’t think for herself? I guess not. Just like when he cussed out his family, and told me I wasn’t allowed to speak to my own family and friends. The difference is, I didn’t conform because I have a brain. Even with people from his side who wanted to befriend me on Facebook, he told me not to, because they were full of shit, especially from his mother’s side.
There’s much more, and boy do I have a lot to write about. But it will all out. I’ve grouped this lot together, but I will be creating another page called “His Family” as well as posting points one at a time. Now I have my hands on all the materials I need, watch this space.
Oh how the hypocrisy kicks in…
Blog of a Mad Black Woman 
Persia,
I am going to try to keep my comment as positive as possible, because my goal is not to stir up trouble. However, these incidents that have happened with you and someone coming to your blog claiming to be a friend of his and attempting to yell over you and talk and bully you in into silence is a risk that all of us bear when we speak out.
It would behoove everyone coming to YOUR blog that YOU write about YOUR experiences with abuse to keep in mind the idea of respecting YOUR RIGHT to come forward and SHARE YOUR STORY with others who are looking for support from THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH ABUSE AS WELL. Do they have to like what you say? Do they have to agree with what you say? Do they even have to believe what you say? Ready for the answer?
NO! This blog was started by YOU for the purpose of telling YOUR STORY in YOUR WORDS as the events HAPPENED TO and AFFECTED ….. wait for it…. wait for it…… YOU. As in Persia. No little Raymond down the street. Not Tina or Jessica or Bob, Jeanine, Keiko, Yvette, Sam, Bill, James, or even Melinda.
Respect comes into play by bearing responsibility for the fact that readers are the ones who make THE CHOICES to come here and read your posts. No one has been forced. No has been persuaded, bullied, or manipulated. As such, when one makes this choice, the burden for HOW THEY RESPOND to the posts here lies on their shoulders, and only theirs. If they misread, they do not reserve the right to attack you and accuse you for the way THEY reacted to what YOU wrote. If you explain what you meant, they DO NOT have just cause to act like you wrote these words with invisible ink and pretend they didn’t read them and continue on yelling and carrying on thinking that this is going to win over anyone or cause anyone to want to listen to what they have to say.
Respect comes into play by choosing to act with dignity afforded to them and to you and send a private message raising exception to something or seeking clarification to what you said that caused offense. It is not lighting the comments section up with hateful, accusatory speech.
Respect comes into play by instead of trying their hardest not to demean or belittle YOU or call you a liar for what you write simply because they didn’t see it happen. Instead if they felt so obligated to speak up and say anything in dissension, maybe they could simply apologize and say they didn’t know this person to be like this.
Respect comes into play knowing how to treat others kindly even in the face of shock, hurt, anger, disagreement, or regret INSTEAD OF BEING SOMEONE SPEAKING ABUSIVELY and perpetuating further emotional and / verbal abuse against you AND the readers who come here.
Respect comes into play to keep in mind that if after reading this and you really can’t think of anything positive to say, close the blog and search for greener pastures to graze in.
As these options were not duly acted upon, it leads me to believe that there is a very deliberate reason for these comments to suddenly appear on your blog now bearing in mind recent events. I quite tend to think of insidious plots enacted to try to make you look like a crazy liar bent on catering to a spiteful spirit.
If the intent was to defame, slander, and malign you, this was achieved. If the intent was to draw my support and trust away from you, someone is about to be disappointed. I do not believe you any less. I do not support you any less. I do not think of you any less. In fact, this has had quite the opposite impact on me.
Here is why. Someone who is being honest does not need to be so angsty to give themselves credibility. Someone who genuinely understands the pain and suffering of the abuse you suffered would not act in a manner to cause you more. Your words, actions, and support toward others speaks volumes.
Your stories are YOURS to share, and no one can take that from you. NO ONE. You share, and I willingly listen. And even in all your suffering, I know you to be kind and compassionate to others. Yes, you do this consistently even when you are going through your own turmoil emotionally.
I believe it may be quite possible that this may happen to you more here. Smear campaigns are desperate acts to try to make the survivor look like she (or he in some cases) is the broken one. It singularly fails, however, because all who participate become complicit by choice in everything that happens to you. It’s called blood guilt.
In the future, if you choose to keep the comments up (which I actually suggest because it is written documentation of harassment should things deteriorate), and if you respond to them, do not get drawn into pointless arguments with them. This only fuels their resolve.
You are strong. You are brave. You are beautiful. Let you stories speak for themselves.