Sometimes, I come across some really interesting emails. This is one of them.
Bearing in mind, I’ve never spoken to this person before, he’ll be waiting for a reply for eternity, because he’s definitely not getting one from me!
Tag Archives: Marriage
I Never Loved You
“Before you believe the hurtful words your ex threw your direction, make sure to see what they had to gain by them.” ~ Lessons From The End Of A Marriage
The gaslighting doesn’t necessarily stop when the relationship ends.
“I never loved you.”
“I haven’t been happy for a long time.”
“You’re impossible to live with.”
Those were some of the words my ex chose to leave me with in the correspondence he exchanged with my mother. They were little bombs hooked to a timer set to detonate after he walked out the door.
At first, those words devastated me. Could they be true? Was I a wretch? Impossible? Unlovable? Piled on top of the rejection, they were an added kick when I was already down and out.
But then they made me angry. If he never loved me, why would act otherwise so consistently? If he hadn’t been happy for a long time, that was his responsibility to say something and change something. If I was so impossible to live with, why did he live with me for…
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Amber’s Story: “I Hid The Knives During Fights.”
Much of what is written feels like it was my own story/experiences.
“I was told certain people were not my “real” friends, his family didn’t like me, I was a bitch, a cunt and a whore.” ~ Amber’s Story
“I married him because he wouldn’t believe I really loved him unless I did.” ~ Amber’s Story
Each day during the month of October, I will feature a story in my CDN column written and submitted to me by a survivor of domestic violence. At the end of October, a compilation of all stories will be available for free as an e-book.
October 2, 2014: Shattering domestic violence myths — Amber’s Story: “I hid the knives during fights.”
BETHESDA, Maryland, October 2, 2014 — Amber* is a scientist and beekeeper who lives, works and raises her family in the United States.
Before the relationship, I was an independent thinker with strong opinions that I didn’t necessarily share. Everyone has an opinion, and they are entitled to it. I don’t need to argue my point to sway opinions. I had a diverse set of friends with differing opinions from mine as well.
During the relationship, my beliefs were challenged. My political and religious beliefs were thrown at me…
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Cara’s story: “He Was Diagnosed As A Sociopath. I Still Wanted To Help Him.”
This is a sad story. I wish *Cara all the best for the future.
“He would constantly tell people how I was mean to him. He would always say I was laughing at him and making fun. His famous words were, “Go ahead make fun. You’re sick!”” ~ *Cara’s Story
October 3, 2014 – Cara’s Story of domestic abuse: “He was diagnosed as a sociopath. I still wanted to help him.”
BETHESDA, Maryland, October 3, 2014 — Cara* is a survivor of domestic violence who lives, works and is training to be a yoga teacher in the United States.
I was just getting out of a marriage when Michael* entered my life. He was giving…giving…giving gifts: sweatshirts, concert tickets, inviting me and my daughter on vacations, giving me money and paying off my car. It seemed, at the time, that he was my knight in shining armor. I loved being showered with what I thought was love. Read more…
Each day during the month of October, column author Paula Carrasquillo will feature a story written by a survivor of domestic violence. At the end of October, a compilation of all stories will be available for free as an e-book.
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Twenty Traits Of Malignant Narcissism ~ Nine
*OUR “SOUL MATE”: is cunning and knows who to select and who to avoid. He will come on strong, sweep us off our feet. He seems to have the same values, interests, goals, philosophies, tastes, habits. He admires our intellect, ambition, honesty and sincerity. He wants to marry us quickly. He fakes integrity, appears helpful, comforting, generous in his ‘idealization’ of us phase. It never lasts. Eventually Jekyll turns into Hyde. His discarded victims suffer emotional and financial devastation. He will very much enjoy the double-dipping attention he gets by cheating. We end the relationship and salvage what we can, or we are discarded quickly as he attaches to a “new perfect soul mate”. He is an opportunistic parasite. Our “Knight in Shining Armor” has become our nightmare. Our healing is lengthy.
My posts relating to this trait are:
Meeting The Soon-To-Be In-Laws
Paying For His Car And More Lies
Defense Strategy: Seek therapy. Learn about this disorder. Know the red flags of their behaviour, and “If he seems too good to be true…” Hide the hurt you feel. Never let him see it. Be watchful for the internet predator.
(*From the “Narcissism Book Of Quotes”)
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