Time To Chill

You may have noticed that I have not been posting much lately.

I feel I need to apologise for the many quotes, but little else. I have been really busy, what with my son Max’s birthday and Christmas ten days later.

For some reason, over the past couple of weeks, I have been receiving nothing but good news, so I have been ridiculously happy – something I haven’t felt in years!

My ten year Green Card finally arrived. No conditions. No sponsor. Just me. Independent. And boy, does it feel good!

It’s time to put my feet up until the New Year. Well, as much as I can with a hyper toddler about!

Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas Everyone! ❤

Armistice Day And Veterans Day

(Image: www.phillymag.com)

I must say, I am very proud to be a part of two of the greatest countries, and do count myself lucky.

I’m not going to use this post to point out a particular individual who doesn’t deserve the title “Veteran” nor go into detail about it, as this is not what this post is about.

Instead, I am going to praise all the Service Men, Women and Animals – in particular those who gave the ultimate sacrifice – their lives, so we have the (somewhat) Freedom we are so fortunate to have.

I have read up on war stories. I have listened to a great deal also.

Some of these Men and Women, in particular Men, have seen things that we as civilians, have never seen, nor could we ever imagine what they have had to live with for many, many years.

Some of these Men were executed by their own for cowardice, rather than be treated for what is now known as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

To both British and American soldiers, past and present ~ Thank you so much for your service. ❤

He Wanted Me To Keep Quiet About His Behaviour

Emotional Abuse:

He Wanted Me To Keep Quiet About His Behaviour.

History Repeating Itself

(Top and bottom left – Steve and I. Top and bottom right – Steve and Britney)

Just from this image alone, you can see *Steve has the same pattern with whomever he is with. For those who cannot see the conversations clearly, I will start with the conversation between he and I:

“I was pooping when I made it”

“Wtf man?

“It was like deer poop”

“Ugh. Piss off. You Nasty”

“You love me”

Now for the conversation between Steve and Britney:

“Poop went down, but the bloody paper won’t. (Sorry for the visual image but you asked”

“Lol, you just made my day”

“By telling you that I clogged our toilet with my bloody poop and paper? You are easily amused, sir.”

“Indeed I am ma’am, don’t judge me”

“Never.”

 

There have also been a number of things for which we argued about, but he has done the complete opposite with Britney. And I know why. To try to cover his tracks because he knows I’ve been talking about how badly he has treated me. He wants people to think/say that I’m the crazy one, and that he has never treated Britney this way. This is where the post I reblogged “Will My Ex-Narcissist Treat His New Girlfriend Better?” comes in. The result will be the same, no matter how long it takes. All he’s done, is come in at a different angle.

• A friend of mine was pregnant at the same time as me. I remember seeing a post of hers on Facebook, saying how she could not bend to reach her toe nails because of her baby bump, so her husband cut and painted her nails for her. I showed Steve and told him I though it was really sweet of her husband to do so. His response was that it was “gay”, and that he was not going to do it for me, even though I was pregnant with our child, and I was in pain. I had to struggle to do it myself. However, within days of dating Britney, she posted a picture with a caption stating that her boyfriend was painting her toes.

• I remember saying to Steve once we had returned from our disastrous trip to New York, and we were back in Georgia, that my hands and nails looked awful. He snapped at me saying “Why are you talking about them?“. I was apparently, not allowed to mention them. He took her to get her nails done though.

(“Got my nails did. 🙂 thanks, baby! @steve…”)

• For the the last trimester of my pregnancy, I was wearing broken shoes – the same broken shoes I wore for a month after having my son. Steve refused to get me footwear because he was too busy getting his cigar/cigarette and junk food fix. I even had to use the shoes as slippers in the hospital for the birth of my son. Ten days into their relationship, this was posted, during the time Steve refused to help financially or otherwise with our son:

(Not my style of footwear, but Britney wrote “My baby got me some new shoes”.)

• Due an IRS check from 2008-2009, after blatantly stating neither of his children will receive any money from it, he allowed Britney to use some of it for her own purposes.

• Left the joint bank accounts negative, and told her he has no money because I closed the bank accounts to get her to pay his way. Just like he got her to pay his rent, by telling her that he had paid for Max and I to stay in a hotel when I returned to the US in May 2013 to collect some of my things. It was actually a friend of mine who had put me up in her house, otherwise I would have had to sleep on the streets, as he had lied. He never made the booking. Luckily, I followed my instincts and left my son with my mother in the UK. So even when it comes to his own child, he simply didn’t care.

• I like to do to Church. Not every week, but I do like to go, especially when I feel like I need a ‘lift’. Church of England which I guess, is a combination of Catholicism and Christianity. However, there were none I could find in Savannah nor Marietta, but I did find Catholic church in both places. I was not allowed to go. And there was nothing I could do, because I got my US driver’s licence just before leaving Savannah, therefore wasn’t able to drive prior. Once we got to Marietta, he wouldn’t allow me to drive the car, even though I paid for it and he would act like it belonged to both of us. In October last year, he went to Church with Britney.

• Steve took her out to eating establishments and other places I wanted go to, using our joint accounts to pay for them, knowing I was able to see every single transaction. Knowing our son needed food, clothes, diapers/nappies.

• I managed to find a few things of mine when I went to collect them with the police in May 2013. Of course, there were a few things I couldn’t find because the room they were in was a pig sty, and the things in storage were strewn about the place. There was no order of any sort. I couldn’t find my graduation books, certificate, picture and other pictures, so after explaining this to him, I asked him to send them to my P.O. Box. and gave him the address. His response was that Britney had thrown them away and that he had nothing to do with it.

• This couple shows their level of irresponsibility by going to the movies, eating out, buying clothes, etc all the time,  whilst he has no idea how his children eat, are clothed, get medication. Same with Britney. Her daughter is not with her.

• All engagement rings have had the same theme. Three stones, cheap and tacky. Britney and Steve got engaged so she would be distracted to pay his bills, just six weeks after they started dating (seven weeks after they met). He is still legally married to me.

(Above: my so called engagement ring he got for me after he proposed just four weeks into our relationship. Below: Britney’s engagement ring after he proposed to her six weeks into their relationship).

• Clothes of his I used to wear around the home, army sweaters, pyjama pants/bottoms, she is now wearing the same ones. Only she is boasting that “it’s cold, so she’s wearing his army sweater” for example, then feeding his ego by stating how he served six years in the army and was honorably discharged. I suggest she read this post. Because that is one thing I refused to do, feed that twisted individual. He is going to suck off of her for a very long time…

• She loves to say “My soldier and I”. Well, he isn’t and pretty much, never was. He was being chaptered from I met him in Germany in 2010, and he never told me until July 2012, after I had moved to the US. When he was transferred to HAAF, Savannah, his chapter re-started in November 2011, yet he sat down with me in December 2011 and told me deceitfully he would re-enlist for another three years as back up, if I were to get pregnant before getting a job. I refused to call him a soldier as I know and still know the truth.

• He called me at 02:30 am, waking me up, trying to make me jealous by asking me to pray for Britney because she was unwell, not to mention telling me that I should fight for him. I think not!

• Tried to make out she was suffering from cancer, hence the reason she has a shaved head, because I told him he had always cursed women with shaved heads, because they look like “dudes”. Said to his colleagues he was glad I wore my own hair, as he hated weaves and extensions too. He also preferred long hair.

• Jointly disliked people – I mean, what the fuck? She can’t think for herself? I guess not. Just like when he cussed out his family, and told me I wasn’t allowed to speak to my own family and friends. The difference is, I didn’t conform because I have a brain. Even with people from his side who wanted to befriend me on Facebook, he told me not to, because they were full of shit, especially from his mother’s side.

There’s much more, and boy do I have a lot to write about. But it will all out. I’ve grouped this lot together, but I will be creating another page called “His Family” as well as posting points one at a time. Now I have my hands on all the materials I need, watch this space.

Oh how the hypocrisy kicks in…

My Precious Girls, Oxanna And Phoenix

(Oxy -tortoiseshell; Fi-Fi – grey and white)

This too painful to even think of what to write. I started this post on March 29th, and haven’t been able to continue. Apologies if there are any typos, as I will not be reading back over this post (as I normally do) to correct them.

The last of my kittens, Oxanna Monroe and Phoenix Azalea (Oxy and Fi-Fi for short), were meant to follow me back to the UK. Because of new rules for pets to travel, I couldn’t take them with me when I initially left on March 12th 2013. At this time, *Steve still wanted to believe we were still together, which bought me time to try and raise funds for my beautiful girls.

Everything was going OK. His Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) was coming through, as well as his unemployment money. He agreed to get the girls micro-chipped (he had previously spent the money for this a few months earlier), and to make sure their shots and paperwork were up to date, and he agreed that he would pay for their travel.  I wanted them so bad and boy, did he know it. I’d had them since they were around five to six weeks old. They helped me through my pregnancy. Oxy was a ‘tomboy’. Fi-Fi was a diva who loved to look at herself in the mirror. When Max was born, it was literally impossible to keep Oxy out of his crib. She’d creep in there and sleep at his feet. I guess she was protecting him.

I had already told him we were over, but Steve insisted we weren’t, and even went as fair as to post  how he missed his family on Facebook (as in Max and I). Whatever. As long as he was treating and feeding the girls well, I played along with it. It wasn’t long before I noticed that he was acting odd. My girls were starting to look scared, especially Fi-Fi, when I asked him to take pictures of them to send to me. He told me there was nothing wrong, but I knew in my heart there was.

He would tell me he didn’t want to part with them as it would mean he wouldn’t have any of his family around him.

Then he started to threaten me that he would “accidentally on purpose” misplace my cats. I was thrown into panic mode.

He sent me an email on May 28th that he had taken them to the pound via email.

He did the same again the next day May 29th. I asked him which pound, but he refused to tell me.

I called around. Nothing. By May 31st I reported them missing.

Fast forward… I got online for almost six painstaking weeks looking for Oxy and Fi-Fi…

On July 10th 2013, with the help of Angels Among Us Pet Rescue (AAU) and other animal advocates, I managed to track down my girls at Cobb County Pound, Georgia. Fi-Fi had been euthanized on June 10th. She had been in the pound for 10 days. Oxy was euthanized ten days after her sister on June 20th. My precious girls were dead.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t function. I couldn’t do anything.

I can’t even begin to imagine how they felt in their last days separated from one another, in cages. They were so close.

Upon calling the pound, I asked the woman who answered the phone to explain what the hell had happened. She said Fi-Fi was scared and had become vicious so had to be put to sleep. As for Oxy, she had contracted Upper Respiratory Infection (URI). Bullshit. That’s a high kill pound, and if Steve had checked it out, he would have known that… or maybe the c**t did. (Sorry, I’m getting really angry again. I only use that word in extreme circumstances). It’s just what staff had decided to put on their records. I went on to ask who turned them in. She said the owner did. I asked her who the owner was. She couldn’t tell me, so I told her his full name. She said yes, it was him. “He wasn’t the owner” I told her. “He said he was“.  OK. There was one way to solve who the owner was. She had the micro-chips. I told her which site to go on.

There was silence.

“I’m so sorry…”

She couldn’t stop apologising to me. I had indeed proved, that not only was I the owner, and my friends were listed as their next of kin with all her details available, but that they were also reported missing the same day he had taken them to the pound. Her voice became a whisper as I continued to demand an explanation.

Not one of the fuckers had scanned my girls to check whether or not they had micro-chips. Isn’t that the whole purpose of them?

I can’t go further. It hurts too much. But the post “Facebook Message” whereby I received a message from *Britney relates to this incident. I sent them both a private message saying that my cats had been euthanized, and that I hope they were please with themselves. At first Steve said he couldn’t afford them. Then he said that it was my own fault they had died. I told him that he was a lying murderer and that he should go fuck himself.

Here is a gallery of my girls, playing, sleeping and hugging each other. Just being their usual cute selves.

R.I.P. Oxanna and Phoenix. You must have been so confused. I’m so sorry I had to leave you with that monster. Mummy couldn’t do any better at the time. I thought you would be safe , but I was wrong. I am so sorry I let you down. But please know mummy never abandoned you. I fought for you both, but I ran out of time. A piece of me will be missing for the rest of my life. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of you. I found out you were separated from each other and I am so sorry for that too. I hope you found each other at Rainbow Bridge. We will meet again. I love you both with all my heart. Please forgive me. Lots of love always, Mummy. ❤ ❤ xx

(*Not their real names)